"Hahaha... whatever man," he said. His mind ruffled at the accusations.

Of course he was having a good time. This was his party after all. After all this work, all this expended time and effort, obviously he was going to have a good time.

His mind scanned the horizon and found all the familiar shapes, the representations of the sultry, the forbidden. Shuffling along from temptation to temptation, gorging himself on hearty indulgance.

His wrinkled conscience brushed again against his insistant attitude. "Hahaha..," he laughed. What an absurd notion, everything is wonderful, everything is great.

"Look around at all the people having such a good time. That is proof that all is well." He stated.

He looked out again, this was his party after all. After all this work, all this expended time and effort, obviously he was going to have a good time.

He scanned the horizon and found all the familiar shapes, the idolist forms of excess. Slogging along, being drenched in the essence of hedonism.

His conscience whispered to him, "All is not as it appears."

"Hahaha...," his eyes scanned quickly across the horizon for an example of the proven success of his juxtaposition. All the people were having fun. "That is proof that all is well" he assured himself.

He looked around, this was his party after all. He'd sacrificed everything, this was his payoff. What else did he have?

He wandered more... suffocated by all that surrounded him. He felt dirty. His conscience said to him, "You're deceiving yourself, all is not as it appears." His mind clawed at him to shake free of the illusion.

"You're having an overdose, just try to calm down." he heard. His party began to melt away. The lights and sounds faded.

He looked up into the eyes of the emt and looked down at his shirt removed from his body. He shuddered to himself.

"What did you take?" said the emt.

It's a fact. I'll keep expressing the same basic pattern through my writing somehow.

Even though every road looks different, it still bares the same basic structure. I'm not going to go from carbon based to silicon based any day soon.

As rabidly happy as I am to be working towards becoming a successful promoter, I'm simultaneously terrified. The name of the game though is pretend not to be scared.

Or at least that's how I perceive it. Jump headlong into uncertainty with a smile on your face and refuse to show any sign of insecurity. Sometimes it works out very well at other times it does not.

I don't know if I necessarily accept the doctrine. I like to admit my insecurities. I feel far more comfortable with them in the open than I do attempting to mask them with smoke and mirrors.

I think walking around with the necessary stage props may be a bit telling, actually.

To be successful in the entertainment industry, must I maintain the visage? If this is truly what I wish to do, am I to contradict what I'm taught?

It seems like my mentor is a bit psychotic.